Let me begin by saying that I think that blogging is a waste of time, especially when you have a family to consider. I do not intend to update this blog on a regular basis because I have a full time job and a daughter that keeps me very busy. The only reason I am starting this blog is to poke fun at a member of my family who is an outsider and a divider. I will not use his real name, but anyone who knows me or a member of my family knows exactly who I am talking about. This person has made every effort to build a wall between my mother and her children.
I have served in the Army for nearly 12 years. My mother has been with this man (and I use the term 'man' very lightly) for about 5 or 6 years. I have been in his presence on numerous occasions when I have returned home on leave to visit my family. He had never once to my face told me that he was anti-military. He even bragged about his own family's involvement in the military, which I discovered through a little internet research is most likely a hoax. I think he just typed his last name and some reference to the military into a search engine and used the first name he found to be his token family 'war hero.' (Once I debunked his story, he took down a picture he had posted on the web of his alleged great-grandfather who served in the civil war because I showed him the proof that he had the wrong picture.) Through his words and his actions in my presence, he appeared to be a genuine supporter of the military.
About 2 months ago, around Veteran's Day 2007, his true colors showed. Some members of my family responded to his anti-war blog post under fictitious names (I know, they are trolls, but their 'trolling' revealed the truth -- trolls have that affect on phony people). He began to equate soldiers to murderers and used a few other not so nice terms to refer to servicemen and women. I responded using my real name and the battle began. After I made many well researched and valid points, he refused to respond anymore. In fact, he chose to delete his anti-war blog post all together. He claims he did it at my mom's request. If that was true, he should have respected the intent of her request which was essentially to stop bashing her son and his profession. Instead, he chose to continue to make posts which made negative references to the military, all in some childish attempt to hurt me. Unfortunately for him, it takes a lot more than some unintelligent and misguided comments to hurt me.
The saddest part about this story is that when I told my mother that he was continuing his tirade against me, she essentially took his side over that of her son of 29 years. She offered no apology for his actions and didn't even act remotely upset that he was belittling the child she gave birth to. I have a daughter of my own and if anyone made the kinds of false statements about her that he has made about me, I would disown that person and take the side of my daughter. That's the right thing to do, especially since I always went out of my way to help my mother when I came home with little projects around her house. Little projects like changing a light fixture that her 'man' could not do and wouldn't even attempt, not because he lacks the knowledge, but rather the fact that he sits in front of a computer for about 16 hours out of the day in the basement of a house that he contributed nothing to in terms of money when it was purchased due to his lack of employment.
I have told my mother how I feel about her lack of loyalty and have told her that I never plan to see her again. Both of my sisters have been offended by his actions and his careless comments on several occasions and have also decided that they want nothing to do with her. It doesn't seem to bother her that she is 'dead' to her children. My mom has chosen a man she has known for about 6 years who belittles her family over 3 children and 4 grandchildren. Sad, isn't it? All because she and her husband do not know how to say "I'm sorry." At this point, I don't think a simple apology would fix it, but it would be a good start.
Every person is entitled to their beliefs and I am not trying to change his. I just prefer that people stick to their guns when my beliefs are contradictory to theirs and not smile to my face and then stab me in the back. If you are anti-war, anti-government, anti-Bush, or whatever, that is your choice. Just don't forget that it is the American government that gives Americans the freedom to decide what to believe. Americans do not get imprisoned because of their personal beliefs, unlike many other countries.
This man is not who he pretends to be to all of his internet followers. I hope that I have shed some light on what he is all about. I could go on and on, but I think I have made my point. I will post all responses to this blog so the people reading it can decide for themselves what the truth is.
3 comments:
Bob, your extended family is very proud of you. One more thought: you are named after your mother's father, who was proud to say that he had fought in WWII. Your grandfather was not drafted but volunteered for duty and his life was forever changed by that service. Your grandfather and you are heroes in "many minds"!
bob, my father did the same thing to me that your moms done to you! and i gotta tell you that it sickens me to hear that news. i'm trying to figure out what kinda man can't hold a job, or contribute to the household at all? and what what women will actually put up with it? my father hasn't seen his grandchildren in 4 years, all because he took the side of his new wife, who is actually worthless as well! i can't figure out how someone can sit in front of a computer for sixteen hours and not even eat thanksgiving diner with his family!!!
For what it's worth -- and you don't know me from Adam -- I'm proud of and grateful to you, as well. The magnitude of the strain of being alienated from your mother is not lost on me, and though it may be painful, you have the courage of your convictions, which is all anyone can ask.
God bless you for your continued service to our country.
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